Chickens get butchered, and men get married. There isn't much of a difference. In fact getting married is a little worse, because for a chicken, it means the end of life while for a groom, an Indian wedding is just the entrance to hell. Too bad, you can never know how the chicken really feels. But we can definitely tell you what goes on inside a typical Indian groom's head while getting married.
When he is made to wear gaudy clothes on the occasion.
When he sees people dancing at his own baraat.
But of course, he can't say it out loud. And the next moment, he is pulled down from the 'ghodi' and made to dance.
When everybody in the world is showering flower petals on him.
When he meets his best friend who has a sadistic grin pasted on his face as his bro enters the hellhole that they call marriage.
And a moment later,
When he has to keep touching every relative's feet
When he looks at bride, all decked up to compete with a Christmas tree.
When the photographer blinds him with a thousand snapshots
When the guests climb up the stage to give the couple cash cards.
When the bride's sister (saali) asks for money in return of his shoes that she has hidden
He is so annoyed by the constant chitter chatter and bargain from those shrill voiced birds, that he just wants it to end.
And the 'saalis' be like
When the bride introduces him to a far-off cousin who is way hotter than her.
When the camera man comes zooming in yet again
When he sees the guests eating all the delicacies while all he does is sit on that blingy throne
When relative #5678 says 'those' words amidst all the chaos and irritation
What he really means is
When the pandit just won't stop chanting
When he has to take marriage vows not just for this life, but for the next seven lives.
While the 'pheres' are happening
When the 'Vidaai' happens and the ladies go crazy howling
To read about some more annoying types of people you always meet at every Indian wedding,
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